Friday Fun

This is what we do to you when you are out on disability.

Motorcycle Parking

I pull into work today and start to walk into work. We have almost 500 people that work at our site so the parking lot is rather large. I’m admiring how gorgeous the day is beginning, cool air and a beautiful clear sky. It’s going to be a glorious day. Then I see it, and am so irritated by this.

Please hear the entire story before jumping to conclusions.

I see a motorcycle parked in a handicap spot. Yes if you are handicapped please by all means park in the designated spot. But seriously! You drive a motorcycle how handicapped can you be? And the motorcycle spots are closer to the entrance than the handicap spot that you parked in! What are you thinking?!

Now this person that did this, I will tell you, does have some knee problems and now currently going through some heart issues as well has had this pass (handicapped pass) for years. I recognize that he does have some problems walking but again the motorcycle spots are still closer and he usually parks in them. I say if you drive your truck then park in the spot. Go ahead. If you drive your motorcycle then leave that spot for someone else that needs it. We have several people that use and need these passes.

Another side note, this person probably wouldn’t need the handicapped spot if he would listen to his doctor and lose some weight which is adding to both his knee and heart problems. I know I’m going to hell because I say this but really this man is over 6 feet tall and weighs over 400 lbs. Your doctor is telling you to exercise more and maintain a diet and yet you choose to ignore him.

Life is all about choices people!

Now off to my spot in hell reserved by Satan.

How is it?

One of my most cringed upon questions, “how is it being a mom?” Well SHIT, how is it for you or how it is being a dad, or how is it being single, divorced, widowed, an all around good person or jerk for that matter. What kind of a response to people really expect? Good, great, crappy, worst thing ever, best thing ever.

It, along with any phase or stage of your life is the same. It ALL has good and it ALL has bad. There is no perfect harmonious Zen moment that lasts a lifetime if you stay in that phase.

I think that people get disappointed at my look of ‘are you kidding me’ and a statement of “it is what it is.”

If it’s a bad day I don’t think they really want to hear; I feel like I’m going crazy. I smell like pee, throw up or poo (depending on the circumstance). I haven’t slept in X nights. I’ve wondered if I can put him back in just so that I can do X, Y and Z.

If it’s a decent day I don’t think they really want to hear; I wish I could go to sleep without the panicked thought of ‘please continue to sleep through the night.’ I wish that I could plan on only an hour to get ready instead of an hour and a half to get 2 of us ready as well as some cush time. I’ve lost weight because I have to feed someone else or get a cookie or fill up a drink or cool the food down. I wish that I could watch a TV show that I like (Oh a DVR would be nice.)

If it’s a good day I don’t think that they really want to hear; I still haven’t had that I love being a mama moment. I worry that I’m not good enough. I wonder if my sweet hubby thinks that I’m as good of a mama as his first wife was to their kids. (PS second marriages suck!!) Am I doing the right things for him for my hubby, and I giving enough to everyone. And yes I do feel like a little me time is usually outta the question.

I realize this sounds like a negative Nancy but REALLY? Come on? Isn’t that question basically saying I don’t have anything to say to you and I’m just feeling up dead air so give me a BS response of: great. It makes me want to call them on it. But I have to be nice and play along but I don’t have to play fair, do I?

Ouch

We went running last night for our training. We were on our way to the home stretch and I noticed that my inner thighs were getting chaffed. This isn’t an odd occurrence. It’s not a huge deal pretty normal and a little chaffing usually goes away and I don’t notice it after a few hours. We had dinner and my legs still hurt. So I did what any normal person that has diaper rash stuff laying around and I used it. Yes I’m 30 and I rubbed Desitin on my legs. If that isn’t bad enough. With a little bow chick a wow wow and it got even worse. (How sexy am I? Desitin and lovin J) My legs hurt so bad this morning that the loofah was not my friend. So again goes on the Desitin.

Another side note. I think I should change the name of my blog to Embarrassing Moments of My Life and have a show tune playing. Like sands through the hour glass, so are the embarrassing moments of my life. Do you hear the Days of Our Lives Tune?

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

After reading a few of the blogs that I stalk read I decided that I would add to the trend. The topic is 5 things you didn’t know about me.

Now I feel that I’m pretty open about the things that I’m comfortable sharing. Notice I said comfortable sharing; we all have things we hope to take to the grave with us.

1.       I would love to open my own restaurant but am too big of a chicken. I have had business plans complete with names, menus, locations and even the uniforms but it will never come to be because I’m not too keen on the idea of no guaranteed check. And of course I’m getting older so it’s getting more important to me. The check that is.

2.       I blow my nose everyday in the shower. I always knew when my mom was about 5 minutes from the end of her shower because you could hear her blowing her nose. I thought that it was gross. Who does that? Well the answer to that question is: now I do. I was really stuffed up during a cold one day years ago and I tried it. I could finally get crap out and breath. I’ve been doing it every day since. When did I turn into my mother?

3.       I never wanted kids until I found out that I couldn’t have them. I was told that at best I had a 4% chance and that’s with injections, procedures, vitamins and what I was envisioning as a baster and me in stirrups. At that point I was pissed because it was no longer my choice; it was out of my hands. Now let’s just reiterate that God has a plan for all of us. One day I was pleasantly scared shitless and unnerved when 2 blue lines showed up on a test. I still have a hard time with even my own kid’s poop/crap/saliva/crying/wining/laundry/smells/feeding/toys and anything kid related as well as wondering if I have any clue to what I’m doing or if I even want this but at least I know that when I’m older he will deal with all of my poop/crap/saliva/crying/wining/laundry/smells/feeding/toys and anything else adult related.

4.       I will NEVER buy or use Gain laundry soap ever. Once in Junior High my mom switched to Gain. We did laundry as normal and I didn’t think anything of it until one memorable day. I remember feeling like I smelled weird all day or week or however long but this one day was exceptional. I knew it was me because the smell followed me everywhere. I went to the bathroom and it was even worse. Yes I will admit I smelled my pants and then my underwear and my armpits and then my bra. Where was the source? EVERYTHING yes everything smelled like fish. So no, the fishy smell wasn’t coming just from my vajj. Anyways we switched soap and I smelt like normal me. Mom got the Gain again and fish-ga-lore was back. So I summed it up as the laundry soap and will never go back.

5.       I’m embarrassed to say that I lost my virginity at 16. Yes I do realize how horrible that sounds. I wish that I would have waited but it is what it is. One regret along with many that include boys. Stupid boys! Or should I say stupid me.

There you have it my 5 things you may not have known about me or even wanted to. Some are embarrassing some are just a part of what makes me me. What are yours?

Layoffs

Looks like my company is going through layoffs. Keep your fingers crossed that I won’t be part of it. I’m supposed to know by the end of May. A full month and then some. It’s going to be hard to stay positive and feel like I’ll be here in 2 months.

I guess just go with worse case scenario right. Then if it doesn’t happen I’m that much better off.

Busy weekend

Our busy weekend started early on Friday. Jeff and I decided to take an early date and see 21 Jump Street with lunch. The movie was so funny. I love the part (and it’s on the previews so you’ll know what I’m talking about) where Johan Hill says to his neighbor “I will punch you in the face right now.” It is very funny.

On Saturday we set out to run 2.5 miles. 2.5 and only 2.5 but with Jeff being the navigator the 2.5 turned into 4.10. I haven’t ran or walked that much in over a year and a half. The little man fell asleep not long after we took off which is very abnormal for him. He loves his walks and is usually too busy checking things out to worry about sleeping. Later on we set off for little Miss Maizey’s #2 birthday party. Aunt Diane and Shanna put so much work into their parties I am always amazed.

With all that I thought that I would take it easy on Sunday but my plans didn’t really work out for me. I felt that Sunday was almost as busy as Saturday. I should be glad that I’m back to work so that I can relax. Funny how life changes and now work is less busy than home. J