Weight Lifted

I took a chance and no matter what happens now, I feel good about the situation.

A very long time ago I had a good girl friend at work. We had lunch together, we talked, and I felt like I could confide in her. I enjoyed being around her and was very interested in what she did day in and day out. I had expressed to her that I would be interested in learning what she did and we had talked about her teaching me so that I could back her up and if times they opened another position I could possibly get it with my additional experience. Well I had started to express to my manager that I would be interested in working in this position.

One day I went into this girl’s office, like I had done many times before, only to be met with a harsh comment. To her I was a “vulture.” Wounded hurt and upset, I listened to her apologized and turned and walked away. Even though we still work at the same place and have been in many meetings together our relationship never recovered. She never said anything to me, nor me to her, other than what was work necessary. Cordial to each other but definitely distant.

This has always bothered me for several reasons; I hurt someone I considered a friend, I hurt one of the very few girl friends that I have had, I didn’t know how to have prevented it, I didn’t know how to repair the relationship.

Today after looking across from her in a meeting I decided that I still very much wanted to have some type of repair and relationship with this woman. I did like her friendship very much while I had it. I would really enjoy having a girl friend again. (I only have family friends anymore.) That settles it, I thought, I will ask her if we can be friends.

After the end of the meeting I went into the ladies room and she was there. Perfect it is somewhat private so if she says no, no one will see me making a fool of myself.

Our conversation:

Me: Are you in a hurry to get to a meeting?

Her: No with a smile and stepping in from the doorway.

Me: I hope that this doesn’t sound too little girlish and I don’t really know how else to say this but can we be friends again?

Her: I didn’t know that you were concerned with that stuff.

We talked for a few short minutes and a HUGE weight is off of my chest. No matter what happens now whether we begin to talk more or if she teases me behind my back I feel at peace that I have attempted to make amends.

I still don’t know if I could have ever made her realize back then that I wanted to work with her and not replace her but I do feel better that I stepped up and was able to finally talk to her about it. I hope that I can continue with repairing lost friendships, forgiving, and letting go. I’m glad that I took a chance today.