Thursday, April 26, 2012

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

After reading a few of the blogs that I stalk read I decided that I would add to the trend. The topic is 5 things you didn’t know about me.
Now I feel that I’m pretty open about the things that I’m comfortable sharing. Notice I said comfortable sharing; we all have things we hope to take to the grave with us.
1.       I would love to open my own restaurant but am too big of a chicken. I have had business plans complete with names, menus, locations and even the uniforms but it will never come to be because I’m not too keen on the idea of no guaranteed check. And of course I’m getting older so it’s getting more important to me. The check that is.
2.       I blow my nose everyday in the shower. I always knew when my mom was about 5 minutes from the end of her shower because you could hear her blowing her nose. I thought that it was gross. Who does that? Well the answer to that question is: now I do. I was really stuffed up during a cold one day years ago and I tried it. I could finally get crap out and breath. I’ve been doing it every day since. When did I turn into my mother?
3.       I never wanted kids until I found out that I couldn’t have them. I was told that at best I had a 4% chance and that’s with injections, procedures, vitamins and what I was envisioning as a baster and me in stirrups. At that point I was pissed because it was no longer my choice; it was out of my hands. Now let’s just reiterate that God has a plan for all of us. One day I was pleasantly scared shitless and unnerved when 2 blue lines showed up on a test. I still have a hard time with even my own kid’s poop/crap/saliva/crying/wining/laundry/smells/feeding/toys and anything kid related as well as wondering if I have any clue to what I’m doing or if I even want this but at least I know that when I’m older he will deal with all of my poop/crap/saliva/crying/wining/laundry/smells/feeding/toys and anything else adult related.
4.       I will NEVER buy or use Gain laundry soap ever. Once in Junior High my mom switched to Gain. We did laundry as normal and I didn’t think anything of it until one memorable day. I remember feeling like I smelled weird all day or week or however long but this one day was exceptional. I knew it was me because the smell followed me everywhere. I went to the bathroom and it was even worse. Yes I will admit I smelled my pants and then my underwear and my armpits and then my bra. Where was the source? EVERYTHING yes everything smelled like fish. So no, the fishy smell wasn’t coming just from my vajj. Anyways we switched soap and I smelt like normal me. Mom got the Gain again and fish-ga-lore was back. So I summed it up as the laundry soap and will never go back.
5.       I’m embarrassed to say that I lost my virginity at 16. Yes I do realize how horrible that sounds. I wish that I would have waited but it is what it is. One regret along with many that include boys. Stupid boys! Or should I say stupid me.
There you have it my 5 things you may not have known about me or even wanted to. Some are embarrassing some are just a part of what makes me me. What are yours?

2 comments:

The Green Family said...

OMG....fishy vaja-jay, snot rockets and you are a hussy??? I LOVE this blog!

Ashley said...

Thanks Kim I love you too.