Off to a ROCK'in start!

Yeah! I just passed all 3 classes for my 1^st semester. Now I can continue to work on the 2^nd semester and hopefully finish sooner rather than later. I know that I will take a break in a few months so this jump on things will really help.

Only 15 more classes to go.

Is that you grandma?

I don’t know what you believe in or want to believe in. And I promise this isn’t a posting wanting you to believe what I may or may not believe. I say that because sometimes I don’t know what I believe. I do think that there are things that happen and take place that are far beyond what I know and can comprehend at this time.

I do want to share with you an experience that I had the other night.

I put the young lad down for bed at his normal time. A normal night consists of him sometimes, not all the time, screaming for a few minutes (under 10) then finally quieting down and going to sleep. I’m confident that he is getting close to his REM sleeping level (the dreaming level) after only 30 minutes. Well this night the boy didn’t scream (which isn’t that unusual), but he was up for at least 45 minutes talking and laughing. 45 minutes of this is VERY rare.

Well off to bed we went after a quick check on the little one who was finally fast asleep. Sometime in the night, I didn’t look at the clock, the boy woke up again. Not that this is routine but it’s not out of the norm and I usually just wait to see if he is going to put himself back to sleep or if I have to come in. The unusual thing was, again he was talking to himself. After about 10 minutes he quieted down. I then noticed a distinct smell in my room that I couldn’t place at the time. The boy started his small half cry that is him saying ‘hello will someone come rock me.’ The smell in the room dissipated and I heard his cry stop and turn into talking again. He was up for about 30 minutes or so.

In the morning we, my lord and I (inside joke), were talking about how weird it was for him to wake up talking to himself in the middle of the night. After my lord left I thought about the smell that came into our room that night. I knew that smell. What was it? Finally it hit! That smelled like grandma.

Grandma has passed a few years ago and was not around to meet my husband or our child. But I have a strange suspension that she was visiting and playing with the little boy in the other room.

Like I said I’m not completely sold that spirits can and do visit us but I have had more than this experience that leads me to believe that it is possible.

I'm feelin pretty cool

I passed sucka!

Oh yeah! I totally rock! One class one month and I passed.

Now only 17 more to go, but don’t expect them all to be done in a month. I’m not that good.

Full drawers

First let me start out by saying THANK-YOU to Miss Kim. She brought over a very large (I’m not exaggerating) bag of hand me down clothes for my son. As I was going through the never ending bag of clothes this thought of ‘oh my poor child looks like we don’t buy him anything’ started going through my head. Because the bag kept going and going the thought got stronger and stronger.

I washed the clothes that I decided to keep and sorted them out in the sizes since she had everything from 12-18 months to 3T. I thought ‘Great! Now I know that I’m not too terrible because this goes all the way up to 3T.’

I put the stuff that is too large into his closet and what fits him into his drawers. Only there was one tiny little problem. Everything that would fit him does not fit into his drawers! So let me tell you how I have shopped for him; 8 of everything. This gives him a week of clothes; shirts, shorts or pants (only 8 of each now because of the change in season), PJ, and I think like 12 socks (that’s because of his dad’s weird sock changing fetish but that’s a story for another time) with one extra just in case I get to the laundry late or we have an accident. Now I look at his over flowing drawer and go ‘what a terrible mama! His daycare probably noticed that he wore the same outfit constantly and thought poor child they don’t buy him anything.

I’ve decided that because this HAS to be hand me down’s from 2 boys that I am not so terrible. If she had my same rule of 8, that would be 16 of everything from both of her boys. I’m not so naive that I think this is true but it has made me feel better. And now my little man will no longer look like we don’t buy him anything. His drawers are overflowing. And I promise that when his stuff will last longer than 3 months I will purchase more than 8. But funny enough I think that I have close to 8 of everything up to 3T. Thanks again Kim!

Back to school...

I am heading back to school after a short hiatus (short as in 2 years). Not only am I going back to school but I am also going to a new school. I am so excited, nervous, stoked, scared, wanting to be done and wanting not to start all at the same time. UGG why does life have to be so many emotions at the same time? Can we just stick with one emotion for one circumstance!

I will start today. I will earn my Bachelors. I will no longer let my lack of education hold me back from applying to positions I want and strive for. I will become all that I can be. I am a success.

My affirmation statements for the upcoming days!

Whoot Whoot!

We did it!!

And surprisingly I hit my goal, not my ultimate goal but my minimum goal. Jeff did great of course. And Ricky finished with a smile, high fives and a great attitude.

We were lucky to rent a condo that was right next to the course so we were able to be cheered on by mom, dad, and B when we passed both times. The race was small compared to others that we have ran. The website listed a max of 1,000 for the half and 500 for the full. The day started out chilly but ended nicely. Jeff ran in 2:03, next was me with 2:19 (I wanted to finish under 2:20, and hopefully if all went well and I could push it under 2:00), then Ricky. On a side note the winner of the full (that’s 26.2 miles) finished at 2:51, I wish I was that fast.

The rest of the day we spent in the hot tub and out to lunch with Ricky and his wife before they left Park City. We took B to the pool and he loved it. He was so excited about getting in the water and would kick his feet. When other kids came into the pool you could tell that he wanted to jump and splash with them. Then B started to get blue lips and it was time to call it a night.

Sunday was a simple day with breakfast a quick checking out of the Olympic park and heading home.

We will do some smaller runs for the rest of the summer and fall but come wintertime I’m going to use the bike a bit more. I probably won’t start running again until next summer. But I really want to shorten my time and run another full. Just have to talk Jeff into it.

Are we done yet?

On Saturday our training schedule had us run 14 miles. Yes we are training for a half which is 13.1 but we ran 14. Although I didn’t do as well as I had hoped I did better than I think I have before.

I have been watching the track and field Olympics and had a burst of motivation. I kept thinking of the athletes and how much work they put into their training and how they seem to find that last little bit to pull through and win. I wanted to go for the gold on Saturday. I think I would have been a no namer if it was the Olympics but at least I still enjoyed myself.

Today my legs still hurt and Jeff tried to give me a little rub last night and it hurt so badly. Now I think 2 more weeks left and we are there. Then I’m going to take a small break from training until the next race.

I’m thinking Utah Valley Marathon; it’s supposedly the fastest race of Utah. Any takers?

It's Official

I am now a cheesy parent. I have B’s artwork from school hanging up in my office.

I would attach a picture but I seem to have lost the button. I'll post it when I can.

Wanting

I know this is a selfish post but today I can’t seem to help myself from wanting wanting wanting. So here is the list of what I am wanting:

o   A good WEEKs sleep.

Love the kid but man can you go back to sleeping through the night? I know you don’t feel good then your mouth hurts and back to not feeling good. But Mama needs a good weeks sleep. Thank-you for being such a good boy and giving us 3 nights in a row last week, but now I remember once again how good it is.

o   My house to be paid for or a smaller payment so I can pay more to have it paid for sooner.

I know this is boring but I want it paid for so I can have that security and still spend my money on fun stuff.

o   Longer hair.

I just got it cut a few weeks ago and love it! But now I just want to pull it up in a pony tail which is why I wanted to cut it so that I could avoid the evil ponytail.

o   Fuller eyebrows

In beauty school I started to have my brows waxed. They look much better than they did but they are not shaped very well…Hello I was in beauty school with a bunch of students. Now I have been trying to grow them back. If you have a suggestion on how to help I would appreciate it mucho.

o   An endless spa pool.

This is all about time to myself to relax or exercise, enjoy the backyard and splurge on something completely unnecessary. Nuf said.

Cousin's Thoughfulness

How sweet is my cousin? She made me a necklace just because she was thinking of me.

I’m not that big of a jewelry person and what jewelry I have is very simple. This necklace is very simple and fits me perfectly. I have already worn it several times.

Thanks so much cuz!

Playing with fire

I am very addicted to my trash TV which includes trashy reality television. I sucked Jeff into watching Keeping up with the Kardashians last night. It was the episode where Kris Jenner is debating and talking about seeing an ex-boy friend whom she had an affair with. Jeff and I were discussing why would someone do this?

We both agree that this is a bad idea and that no good could come from it. But I do have the understanding, however small, as to the interest. If you could get an honest answer from a former lover as to why things ended would you want it?

I am very content with how things progressed or ended within my relationships. I’ve either wanted them to no longer continue or have come to terms with the end result and am happy and a better person because of it.

There is one that was so blindsiding to me that I do wonder…WTF happened? I have tried to explain it away with what I did or didn’t do but I always come down to a nagging feeling of there was something I didn’t know. I have wondered about another person on their part and had high suspicions and some evidence but I would love to hear it from their lips. And want to know what did she do that I didn’t?

My question is have you ever wanted to know an honest answer to an end of a relationship?

New Do

I have a new do.

I love love LOVE that it literally takes less than 10 minutes to blow and style, I have gone 6 days without a ponytail, and that it feels so healthy.

I don’t know if I like the fact that it is similar to several boys cuts that I have seen lately, that I still am not sure how to style it, or the fact that suddenly my face looks so much more mature.

Now the mature look would be the style of hair not the fact that I am actually getting older. Oh my early 20s how I miss you. And where is my retainer? My teeth look jacked up.

7 of 17

Week 7 of a 17 week training completed and I have only missed 1 run. This may not seem like the biggest feat but, for me it is. The other times I have had a training plan life seemed to spin upside down and let’s just say the training became last on my list if it’s even in sight. This time even though some nights have been hard to get up and go I have managed to find that last little bit to push it. This means that I have managed to make an extra effort 28 times. Only 10 more weeks or 40 more days of pushing it and the training is over. Come on Park City Half. I’m going to conquer you!

Friday Fun

This is what we do to you when you are out on disability.

Motorcycle Parking

I pull into work today and start to walk into work. We have almost 500 people that work at our site so the parking lot is rather large. I’m admiring how gorgeous the day is beginning, cool air and a beautiful clear sky. It’s going to be a glorious day. Then I see it, and am so irritated by this.

Please hear the entire story before jumping to conclusions.

I see a motorcycle parked in a handicap spot. Yes if you are handicapped please by all means park in the designated spot. But seriously! You drive a motorcycle how handicapped can you be? And the motorcycle spots are closer to the entrance than the handicap spot that you parked in! What are you thinking?!

Now this person that did this, I will tell you, does have some knee problems and now currently going through some heart issues as well has had this pass (handicapped pass) for years. I recognize that he does have some problems walking but again the motorcycle spots are still closer and he usually parks in them. I say if you drive your truck then park in the spot. Go ahead. If you drive your motorcycle then leave that spot for someone else that needs it. We have several people that use and need these passes.

Another side note, this person probably wouldn’t need the handicapped spot if he would listen to his doctor and lose some weight which is adding to both his knee and heart problems. I know I’m going to hell because I say this but really this man is over 6 feet tall and weighs over 400 lbs. Your doctor is telling you to exercise more and maintain a diet and yet you choose to ignore him.

Life is all about choices people!

Now off to my spot in hell reserved by Satan.

How is it?

One of my most cringed upon questions, “how is it being a mom?” Well SHIT, how is it for you or how it is being a dad, or how is it being single, divorced, widowed, an all around good person or jerk for that matter. What kind of a response to people really expect? Good, great, crappy, worst thing ever, best thing ever.

It, along with any phase or stage of your life is the same. It ALL has good and it ALL has bad. There is no perfect harmonious Zen moment that lasts a lifetime if you stay in that phase.

I think that people get disappointed at my look of ‘are you kidding me’ and a statement of “it is what it is.”

If it’s a bad day I don’t think they really want to hear; I feel like I’m going crazy. I smell like pee, throw up or poo (depending on the circumstance). I haven’t slept in X nights. I’ve wondered if I can put him back in just so that I can do X, Y and Z.

If it’s a decent day I don’t think they really want to hear; I wish I could go to sleep without the panicked thought of ‘please continue to sleep through the night.’ I wish that I could plan on only an hour to get ready instead of an hour and a half to get 2 of us ready as well as some cush time. I’ve lost weight because I have to feed someone else or get a cookie or fill up a drink or cool the food down. I wish that I could watch a TV show that I like (Oh a DVR would be nice.)

If it’s a good day I don’t think that they really want to hear; I still haven’t had that I love being a mama moment. I worry that I’m not good enough. I wonder if my sweet hubby thinks that I’m as good of a mama as his first wife was to their kids. (PS second marriages suck!!) Am I doing the right things for him for my hubby, and I giving enough to everyone. And yes I do feel like a little me time is usually outta the question.

I realize this sounds like a negative Nancy but REALLY? Come on? Isn’t that question basically saying I don’t have anything to say to you and I’m just feeling up dead air so give me a BS response of: great. It makes me want to call them on it. But I have to be nice and play along but I don’t have to play fair, do I?

Ouch

We went running last night for our training. We were on our way to the home stretch and I noticed that my inner thighs were getting chaffed. This isn’t an odd occurrence. It’s not a huge deal pretty normal and a little chaffing usually goes away and I don’t notice it after a few hours. We had dinner and my legs still hurt. So I did what any normal person that has diaper rash stuff laying around and I used it. Yes I’m 30 and I rubbed Desitin on my legs. If that isn’t bad enough. With a little bow chick a wow wow and it got even worse. (How sexy am I? Desitin and lovin J) My legs hurt so bad this morning that the loofah was not my friend. So again goes on the Desitin.

Another side note. I think I should change the name of my blog to Embarrassing Moments of My Life and have a show tune playing. Like sands through the hour glass, so are the embarrassing moments of my life. Do you hear the Days of Our Lives Tune?

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

After reading a few of the blogs that I stalk read I decided that I would add to the trend. The topic is 5 things you didn’t know about me.

Now I feel that I’m pretty open about the things that I’m comfortable sharing. Notice I said comfortable sharing; we all have things we hope to take to the grave with us.

1.       I would love to open my own restaurant but am too big of a chicken. I have had business plans complete with names, menus, locations and even the uniforms but it will never come to be because I’m not too keen on the idea of no guaranteed check. And of course I’m getting older so it’s getting more important to me. The check that is.

2.       I blow my nose everyday in the shower. I always knew when my mom was about 5 minutes from the end of her shower because you could hear her blowing her nose. I thought that it was gross. Who does that? Well the answer to that question is: now I do. I was really stuffed up during a cold one day years ago and I tried it. I could finally get crap out and breath. I’ve been doing it every day since. When did I turn into my mother?

3.       I never wanted kids until I found out that I couldn’t have them. I was told that at best I had a 4% chance and that’s with injections, procedures, vitamins and what I was envisioning as a baster and me in stirrups. At that point I was pissed because it was no longer my choice; it was out of my hands. Now let’s just reiterate that God has a plan for all of us. One day I was pleasantly scared shitless and unnerved when 2 blue lines showed up on a test. I still have a hard time with even my own kid’s poop/crap/saliva/crying/wining/laundry/smells/feeding/toys and anything kid related as well as wondering if I have any clue to what I’m doing or if I even want this but at least I know that when I’m older he will deal with all of my poop/crap/saliva/crying/wining/laundry/smells/feeding/toys and anything else adult related.

4.       I will NEVER buy or use Gain laundry soap ever. Once in Junior High my mom switched to Gain. We did laundry as normal and I didn’t think anything of it until one memorable day. I remember feeling like I smelled weird all day or week or however long but this one day was exceptional. I knew it was me because the smell followed me everywhere. I went to the bathroom and it was even worse. Yes I will admit I smelled my pants and then my underwear and my armpits and then my bra. Where was the source? EVERYTHING yes everything smelled like fish. So no, the fishy smell wasn’t coming just from my vajj. Anyways we switched soap and I smelt like normal me. Mom got the Gain again and fish-ga-lore was back. So I summed it up as the laundry soap and will never go back.

5.       I’m embarrassed to say that I lost my virginity at 16. Yes I do realize how horrible that sounds. I wish that I would have waited but it is what it is. One regret along with many that include boys. Stupid boys! Or should I say stupid me.

There you have it my 5 things you may not have known about me or even wanted to. Some are embarrassing some are just a part of what makes me me. What are yours?

Layoffs

Looks like my company is going through layoffs. Keep your fingers crossed that I won’t be part of it. I’m supposed to know by the end of May. A full month and then some. It’s going to be hard to stay positive and feel like I’ll be here in 2 months.

I guess just go with worse case scenario right. Then if it doesn’t happen I’m that much better off.

Busy weekend

Our busy weekend started early on Friday. Jeff and I decided to take an early date and see 21 Jump Street with lunch. The movie was so funny. I love the part (and it’s on the previews so you’ll know what I’m talking about) where Johan Hill says to his neighbor “I will punch you in the face right now.” It is very funny.

On Saturday we set out to run 2.5 miles. 2.5 and only 2.5 but with Jeff being the navigator the 2.5 turned into 4.10. I haven’t ran or walked that much in over a year and a half. The little man fell asleep not long after we took off which is very abnormal for him. He loves his walks and is usually too busy checking things out to worry about sleeping. Later on we set off for little Miss Maizey’s #2 birthday party. Aunt Diane and Shanna put so much work into their parties I am always amazed.

With all that I thought that I would take it easy on Sunday but my plans didn’t really work out for me. I felt that Sunday was almost as busy as Saturday. I should be glad that I’m back to work so that I can relax. Funny how life changes and now work is less busy than home. J

Persistence pays off

On our trip our baggage was lost. So of course I would like the, in my opinion the absurd, bag fees to be reimbursed. Now that we are paying for the bags to get there they darn well better be right. (Yes darn well, I’m trying to work on my language.)

My story of persistence paying off is this.

I had contacted our original carrier, which will now be known as company A, about the issue and they informed me that any issues or complains go to the end carrier, which will now be known as company B. I contacted B who tells me that more than likely because we paid with A that B would not pay. So back to company A who again said contact B. I wrote to company B who sent me a letter that said in not so many words: Its company A’s fault so we can’t or won’t pay for it. Back to company A only this time SUCCESS. I just received an apology for the inconvenience and your check will be in the mail.

See persistence does pay off and this time it pays with a reimbursement check. Its only 2 months later a few frustrating calls and 2 complaint letters.

Kudos, No Walking

I know that this may not sound like a huge accomplishment, especially to anyone that is a runner or if you are Jeff.

I am so proud of myself for running 2.25 miles without the usual walk breaks I need. I have really been trying to stretch my running stints and not using the much desired walking breaks. Last week I did the 2 miles with only one, one minute break in-between and it felt great. This weekend it didn’t feel as great but I pushed through and I did it without a walk break at all. Keep your fingers crossed for next week at 2.5 without a walk break.

I’m so glad that we are doing this conditioning plan before the real work begins. Only 2 weeks left until the pain begins.

To do before I die.

I saw an old list of ‘to do before I die’ and chuckled at a few. I still had on it become a Veterinarian (yeah that’s so not happening now.) It got me thinking that I should update one and write it down. I think that I should be looking at this more often and crossing off and adding to it. You have to leave the stuff you already crossed off right? What’s on your list?

Here is the start of my updated list, and in no particular order but categories, on April 2012:

$$$:

Earn more than $10.00 per hour

Become a millionaire

Buy an outfit without worrying about its cost

Buy a car with cash

Own a home (not a home loan)

School:

Graduate from high school

Earn my Associates

Earn my Bachelors

Growing up:

Live on my own

Health:

Run a marathon

Compete in a triathlon

Have 6pack abs

Wake up feeling beautiful

Have my heart overfill with joy

For fun:

Learn to skate

Go skydiving

Run with the bulls

New Years Eve in Times Square

Watch a sunrise/sunset

Swim with dolphins

Witness something breathtaking

Make love on a beach

Learn to water-ski

Learn a second language

Learn to golf

See and wish on a shooting star

Be in 2 places at once

Go to the airport with no preconceived idea of where to go and get on a plane

Travel:

Step foot on all 7 continents

Hawaii

Italy

New York

DC

Maine

Washington

Fiji

Bora Bora

New Orleans

France

Ireland

Greece

Niagra Falls

Gettsburg

Liberty Bell

Mt Rushmore

The Grand Canyon

Seeking Closure

I remember sitting at breakfast and the words were said. So calm and pointed. I sat in a fog wishing it would go away but the words lingered from your lips hanging in silence around us. I often think about that day and how, for me it was the beginning of an end I didn’t see on the horizon or even the map of life.

Is all I could mutter was “take me home I feel sick.” I never thought that would have happened let alone out of the blue. I knew that we had problems. I knew that things weren’t perfect. But I had never been ready to give up, until that day that moment. I had thought about it in the heat of an argument but it never went to the point of more than a short thought. There it was with no argument attached just as if you were stating what the weather was going to be like tomorrow.

During the drive home I didn’t even want to look at you. I could barely hear you say that you didn’t mean it. Why would you say something so hurtful that you didn’t mean? I asked you to leave because I didn’t know what else to do. How could I turn to you in that moment of hurt when you were the one that had hurt me more than I will ever be hurt again? I say this because I don’t think I will ever be able to let my guard down completely again.

The wheels were in motion to a rollercoaster I didn’t know how to stop or slow down. And I want to know, why? I asked you to try and you said no. I finally gave into to the reality that you didn’t want to try. Something had happened. Was I or it really that bad? I had tried everything that I could before that day. I sincerely gave you all that I had to give. I know that I will never be able to give that much again.

Then began the back and forth struggle. So many lies, most of which I don’t understand and probably never will. It was as if I was the flower and you were playing I love you I love you not with my petals. I continued to feel like I was being pulled around. I let in to the feelings of giving up. I had no more to give when there seemed to be no giving, trying or even a small attempt on your end.

Since then I have moved on and tried to get back to that person that I was without all the pain. I have tried to reason and be logical with myself. I have tried to forgive the blame that has been put on me unnecessarily. I can, have and will continue to take responsibility and blame for my part. I will always know my faults; the constant nagging, being so frugal, a homebody, and of course the most deadly holding back after that fated morning. I however can no longer hold on to that I solely am the only one that caused this, that I was responsible for the multiple attempts on your life, the strain to your employment, the smoking, the excessive drinking, and the multiple calls to the police and the many police reports. I can’t take responsibility for your actions only mine. I want to know this both in my heart and mind not just my mind.

I want to ask for forgiveness for the hurt and pain that I caused. I want to forgive myself for failing you but mostly for failing myself. I hope that someday time will lead to healing and one day I can realize that there is closure and forgiveness. I hope that one day my hurt will be healed and I will no longer wear this scar so close to the surface.

Another race another training schedule

I don’t know if I really enjoy the pain associated with running races but I know that I love the thrill of race day. I’m hoping that this year I can be better about actually training instead of half-way training. So far I’ve only finished one week of a 4 week conditioning schedule and I’ll be honest today I don’t feel like training. Oh I so hope that I can stick to it.

One of the cutest things I have ever seen is…

This face:

Blowing kisses goodbye to his favorite, dad.

First time I, or we, have ever seen this was last Wednesday. Now he’s blowing them to the cats. When will it be my turn? I guess you can see how I rank.

We just got back from...

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

HAWAII. It was a wonderful trip. Lots of adventures and too many good things to talk about here is a list of a few:

1.       Arrived in Maui with no luggage. It came 19 hours after we landed. Yes we were still wearing the same clothes gross.

2.       I am so old that even without a little one to wake up with we still went to bed earlier than not.

3.       The road to Hana is a must. Great views of both ocean and rain forests.

4.       I still wish that I wasn’t a wuss when it comes to weather and swimming. I didn’t swim in the 7 sacred pools just stood in them like a stick in the mud.

5.       Sunrise at Hakele would have been awesome had it not been a monsoon.

6.       Best calamari ever! I’m now spoiled.

7.       Jeff finally didn’t wear me out with one of his famous only a couple of miles hike when he takes you out for 8 miles.

8.       Whale watching is better with rainy weather.

9.       Beaches are better with the sun. But it’s nice to not come home burnt.

10.   I am married to a wonderful man who I couldn’t do without.

Ungrateful Birthday

An incident came to mind that I would like to share how big of a jerk I have been to those that love me.

For one of my birthdays, 19 I think, my mom dad and brother went to my work with a gift card and I think balloon. Being the stubborn jerk that I am I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday and I hid in the back so that I didn’t have to see them. Looking back the biggest stinger is that my mom told me that my brother had asked why I wouldn’t come out and she said that she didn’t know. The truth to me not coming out is simply that I was a jerk.

I don’t know if I have ever apologized for being so inconsiderate but I hope that they, being as wonderful as they are, have forgiven me for my rudeness.

It’s weird the things that stick with you. I know that I have probably been ruder and I can think of a few ‘I hate you moments’ but that one is in my head for the last few days.

If you read this…Mom, Dad, Bry – I love you thank-you for always being so thoughtful and being glad that I am around, thank-you for dealing with my ungratefulness at times. I’m sorry for that day those many years ago.

Ashley's Favorite Things

I am lovin this product! I have a couple of scars that I am self conscious of that are old. I have done the give it time and it will heal, Merderma and then on to ignoring it. All of which hasent worked very well. That is why I am on a search to find something that will help to make my scars less noticeable. I think I have found one of Ashley’s favorite things.

Check it out not too expensive and I will say I have only used this product for 3 days and I already notice a difference. I can’t wait for more time to pass.

http://www.newmedical.com/

The before and after pics are amazing.

New again

I am once again going to try to post-blog about what is going on in my world. It seems that there is always something but it is all the same as well. I will warn you some of these may be short some may be long.